#684…Where the Fuck Are the Bloomingfools? Hash Trash…Wednesday, March 2, 2016

#684…Where the Fuck Are the Bloomingfools? Hash Trash…Wednesday, March 2, 2016


So there we were…on the far east side for the Pervington Hash.  We met outside of the Irish Mutt.  Among those in attendance were Commie Blow Jabbie, Cuntpletely Forgettable (who?), Anxiously Anal, Gaelic Pasties, Cuntput, Gayfully Employed, Broke Bitch Mounted, Poly Glamarous, White Girl Wasted, Just Brian, Just Jestina, NEEERRRD!, Broke Bitch Mounted and 13″ Cock Tower.  


The hares, STD and Money$hot (not the Mongolian hasher) set off as we did introductions led by 13”.  Cuntput told the story of his secondary naming and his piano playing antics.  


We set off south going towards All-star Bowl.  We went behind the bowling alley and toward N. Shortridge Road.  There was a little difficulty solving the check, but we finally found true trail going south taking us into the Eastgate Station Indianapolis Post Office parking lot.  We found ourselves in another big parking lot (which, as Weird Al would find out, was adjacent to the Indianapolis Police Department).  It was another check that we had trouble finding.  The flour marks in the giant parking lot had hashers combing the area, occasionally mistaking pieces of trash for flour and getting further disillusioned.    


We found some flour leading to Gold’s Gym and a hare’s arrow pointing across N. Shortridge.  We went through the Riteway Pizza parking lot and around the corner and found a check on Woodside Ave.  No big deal.  Weird Al, Gaelic Pastied, Cuntput and the FRB’s combed the area, but only managed to find a false trail.  The search party for flour soon involved the entire pack.  We crossed Washington repeatedly and even went to Applebee’s and ordered a few appetizers, but still no flour.  


After a long time of diligent searching we picked up trail going across Washington.  We came across a boob check.  Naturally, the entire pack went the wrong way and had to go back.  True trail went behind Pep Boys, where we foraged through litter while listening to the howls of dozen of dogs.  We went down S. Shortridge where we hit a back check 3.  True trail led us to a field behind the Transportation Department Building. We crossed a little creek, some of getting our shoes wet, before finding some FRB beer.  


After taking a leak in the woods and finishing the beer, we set off on trail which went onto the Pennsy Trail.  We ran the straightaway until Cuntput yelled out “Back Check 10!”.  We counted the flour dots back and saw the glowing head lamps of the hares in the woods.  

The beer near was tucked in the briar.  There was an old abandoned truck (probably used now as a homeless outhouse) that was run into the ground, literally.  Weird Al, Gaelic Pasties and Gayfully Employed climbed on in for a photo op.  We drank the Coor’s and Miller and had normal conversations about whether we would fuck or fight our past selves.  As the number of beers slowly dwindled, we headed out.  


We climbed over dozens of downed trees.  Gaelic Pasties and Cuntpletely Forgettable stayed back to carve their initials and pictures of balls into the logs (how cute!) and Weird Al stayed back to accompany them (how chivalrous!).  We wandered through some fields of a landscaping place and followed the hares’ arrows pointing back over the Shadeland bypass.  (Were it not for the watchful eye of Anxiously Anal who called out that we had lost marks, there would have been more lost motherfuckers on this trail).


We arrived at a shot stop. There was some cheap German apple cider that we passed around.  It was pretty good.  We walked through Bob Rohrman’s and back on-in.  

We got concenred about the whereabouts of Cuntpletely Forgettable, Broke Bitch Mounted, Weird Al and Gaelic Pasties.   STD dialed up Gaelic Pasties and sent a search party on-out to find them.  Money$hot was the search party.    The lost hashers decided to run back.  


Because the kitchen was soon closing, 13” could not wait for the return of the wayward Bloomingfools hashers.  We started off the circle with On-sec.  That never happens.  Commie Blowjabie is our newest centurian. Congrats!  

We had a round of hash crimes followed by the awarding of the hashhit. White Girl Wasted was unanimously awarded the hashhit at the Cosby Sweater hash.  The two candidates for the hashhit were White Girl Wasted and the still-absent Cuntpletely Forgettable.  STD filled in the for the absentee candidate who won by a landslide.  We swung low and found Weird Al and Gaelic Pasties running on-in.


Everyone in the circle dove for cover as 13” made the announcement for prom, signalling the importance of signing up by flinging beer about.  


After circle the wayward hashers made it back   as the remainder of the pack either headed home or headed to the on-after at the Irish Mutt.  Cuntpletely Forgettable was undoubtedly delighted to have found the hashhit resting on her Volkswagen.  



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