#686…Jesus Can’t Go Hashing Hash…Saturday, March 26, 2016

#686…Jesus Can’t Go Hashing Hash…Saturday, March 26, 2016


So there we were on the SW side, right across from the Methodist Church on W. Morris, joined for a sacrilegious Easter celebration.  It was a beautiful sunny day and around 20 hell-bound hashers were in the group including NEEERRRD!, Cunpletely Forgettable, 13”, Vibreaker, Ladrone, Cum Ride on This Train, Pissing Ditzy, Hand’ersome Pooper, Did We Fuck?, A Ray of FUCKING Sunshine, Snatch Cracker, Seoul Brudda, Diswhoriented, Show Me Your Dong and a late showing Cuntput.  Salad Tosser blessed the hares, Not a Crucified Pussy and Flabong Me and sent them on their way.


We set out north. There was a check followed by a few hares arrows, starting trail off in a circular jerking formation.  We ran over to Eagle Creek where there was a check.  Cuntput and Did We Fuck? swept up the false trails and mistook a homeless man hanging out at his tent for the hares ready to dispense the beer.  Hand’ersome Pooper helped bring up the front as well.  True trail went across the creek on the tracks and down along the other side.  We marched along the banks of the creek until we found a check.  True trail led us into the woods where there the blasphemous hares awaited us with some Rolling Rock beer.  


(In case you were wondering, why Rolling Rock?, it’s because Jesus rolled the rock away when he hopped up out of that tomb…can I get an amen!).  

Cuntpletely Forgettable revealed that she was born in 2002 and is turning 14 this year.  

So we continued trail along Eagle Creek.  As an attempt to avoid the monotony of the straightaway along Eagle Creek, the hares provided some unhallowed snacks at several checks along the way.   There were easter eggs with cock checks and boob checks along with Peeps and chocolate candies.  There was also Ritz crackers (body of Christ) and wine reminding us of the holiday we were desecrating.  Seeing the mammories and cocks boosted the pace of the pack in between the checks.  


We ran through the neighborhood falling for a few checks.  The beer near was at a park where there was a family celebrating Easter before we showed up.  13” informed the white family with small children that we were just going to be there for a short while and they shouldn’t feel the need to leave.  We undoubtedly drove them off.  We sat at the park under the awning and drank some Busch and Hamm’s and had our normal conversations about corrupting America’s youth.  

We went on-in back to the church parking lot, split open some cold cans of cheap beer and began the accusations.  13” was called in for repeatedly using virgin names on trail and Cuntput was called in for being a late cummer (and when one Cunt drinks…).  

The on-after was at the Stadium Tavern.  Nothing unusual happened.  Cuntpletely Forgettable and Vibreaker helped Cuntput try on dresses in the parking lot.   

Don’t forget about the Toxic Love Tunnel Hash (Part II) on Wednesday, April 6 @7pm.  We’ll be meeting at the parking lot at 414 Fulton St.  





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