#692…May the 4th Be IN You Hash Trash…Wednesday, May 4, 2016

#692…May the 4th Be IN You Hash Trash…Wednesday, May 4, 2016

So there we were on the east side. We were right across from Ivy Tech on the track in Lawrence on 59th St. Around 15 of us showed up including Commie Blowjabbie, Cuntpletely Forgettable, Monogamistake, Weird Al, Did We Fuck?, Dumb Cumster, Just Biran, Just Lisa, Just James, Not a Force Pussy, Flabong Me, Darth Vasher, Neeerrrd!,and the hares, Anxiously Anal and Cum Ride on this train. It was a chilly, windy evening. The warm weather had gotten cold again, however a break in the rain made it ideal hashing weather.

13” Cock Tower showed away the hares and let the walkers go. There were a few latecumming hashers. They were brothers. STD and Cuntput. We went into the woods from the track. There may or may not have been an abandoned brick stack with a bunch of chairs stored inside. In a clearing we found some hard root beer. We passed that around, reluctantly taking small sips. We went through the woods and shiggy behind Lawrence Water. The dense brush made us hunch down. 13” Inch was strolling merrily with Vibreaker’s Pooch, Fuck This Shit. It was there in the only part of the trail that we had shiggy, where the dirty mutt took a huge shit and then face planted into it.
The first beer check was a very short distance into the trail. True trail came out of the woods and around the corner to the back parking lot of the Vietnam Veterans of America parking lot. Did We Fuck? willfully decided not to follow true trail and go straight through the dense shiggy to the beer stop. However, we had some more important shit to worry about than Did We Fuck’s? shortcutting antics…there was a foul-smelling, shit-covered hound running around.
Because of the horrid stench we moved the beer and ourselves away from the bitch. As much as we love the canine, the odor was just too strong and we shooed her away. 13” started scrubbing the mongrel with beer and then poured bottled water on the tkye’s excrement-laden fur. He removed his shirt and scrubbed the shit off of the tail-wagger’s coat. Because of this incident, Fuck This Shit will now be known as Face Fuck This Shit.
We pointed out some irony. Fuck This Shit was given the name at the Revenge of the NEEEERRRRD! trail in November 2015 because she would not enter into the sewage waters that were part of this Cuntput Trail. Today she took a face full of feces.
We bounced out of the beer stop and then headed (wsh?) across Lee Road going southeast. Trail took us into a subdivision of new houses. We went around the cul-de-sac, into someone’s yard and then continued south on Brooks Blvd. There was a beer stop where Brooks Blvd. dead ends, right in front of the fenced off military area.
There we drank some more Miller and PBR and had our normal conversations about Parangaricutirimicuaro.
Going back to the start pretty much a straight shot. There were a few checks, but they were easily solved. Apparently there was a boob check drawn in blue and red chalk, right beside the preschool and the YMCA building at these approximate coordinates: 39.859598, -86.002912. STD and Cuntput may have “accidentally” blown through this check. Did We Fuck? however was a good man and stopped and waited despite the 0% chance of seeing boobs.
We trickled on in to the on in. A short circle would follow a short trail. Hash crimes included Flabong Me for mother given names, Did We Fuck? for shortcutting, the hares for something and Face Fuck This Shit for rolling around in a pile of shit.
We closed circle before 9. The on-after was a Fort Ben Pub for the first time.
Don’t forget to sign up for Intra Hash!!!
-Cuntput

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