#855…Hangover Hash…Wednesday, January 1st, 2020
Forgive me father for I have sinned. It has been almost 50 trails since my last confession. But, New Year Nude Me! It’s about time someone starts haphazardly documenting this shit again.
SO THERE WE WERE
I didn’t check the records but I’m pretty sure this is the first time trail has started in this parking lot at E 91st Street and the Monon Trail…hared by 13″ Cock Tower…on a Wednesday…in the year 2020. Hashers stumbled in from all directions in a variety of mental states. Most hungover, some still drunk from the night before, at least one damn near blacking out from drinking all morning, and our two token sober people. The illustrious Bumble Beaver even brought a cute little virgin to sacrifice to the new year trail: Just Sara.
As a chilly circle began to form of imbibing hashers the breeze picked up. The aforementioned wanker who had drank all day realized he did not plan well for this weather, and his booze blanket was not cutting it. He very smoothly slipped into the back of Cock Tower’s truck and left the door only cracked so he could drink it peace and out of the elements. It wasn’t long before Boxxxy sought out the sot and joined him as she also did not do so well in the bundling up department.
A quick opening circle was had, no doubt confusing the virgin with unhelpful instruction, and then when it was time for hares away Cock Tower briskly approached his truck and kicked the rear door shut, locking a Big Ol’ Mistake in the back. They begged and pleaded to be let out so they could be FRB’s on this amazingly, totally not prelaid, shiggy filled trail through uncharted territory–but alas, they were prisoners along for the ride with Vibreaker and Face Fuck That Shit zooming off into the unknown.
Due to this occurrence the following details from trail may be less than accurate, but here are some bullet points of events that happened on trail:
- Desperate Lay stumbled around on trail with his tongue out drooling because he thought Just Sara was his mannequin come to life like he was in a movie from the late 80s.
- Did We Fuck? fell and broke his hand before trail even started.
- Face Fuck That Shit pissed on the shot check before the pack got there, but Vibreaker was nice enough to shake the bottle around a bit so most of the liquid dried up.
- I’ll Fucking Kill You was FRB picking the correct path at every check. A feat never recorded in the history of hashing.
- Man Buns had a giant tub of meat he brought from Swallow For Equality that he passed out on trail to anyone who touched his butt.
- PBJ gave Neeeeerrrrrd! and Shorter Than Shiggy a double piggyback ride through a water crossing.
- Snatch Cracker made out with the notorious RBG at the beer check
- STD gave a brief lecture on the Battle of the Bulge with visuals. So many visuals.
- Toe Dirt whistled a song on trail and birds came from all around singing and chirping with her and sitting on her shoulder.
- Snorts decided Boxxxy and Monoga had the right fucking idea of being kidnapped and decided to join them for some warm cuddles on the third leg (heh) of trail.
On After was at The Indy Stout House where $5 champagne bottles of High Life were had and vaginas were violated with pool cues. Somehow we got home eventually.
Be sure to cum out for the next hash 1 week from today on Friday January 10th at 7PM HST. Hared by none other than the freshly year older Salad Tosser (HBFU) and the ever beautiful Ribbited for Her Pleasure!
OnOut
Monogamistake