When
Saturday December 21, 2019
3:00 pm HST
iCal
Where
Hares
Details
‘Twas the hash before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was sober, nor wearing a blouse;
The wankers were hung with well manscaped hair,
In hopes that slit, ass, or mouth soon would be there;
The virgins were wasted, passed out in their beds,
While visions of the tit checks romanced in their craniums,
And Boxxxy in her vajazzles, and I in briefs: tight,
Had just ran out of booze for a long hashers’ night-
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the keg to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Knocked over the flip cups that fell with a splash.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below;
When, what to my inebriated eyes should appear,
But 13 Inch Cock Tower with a new keg of beer!
With a fun sober driver, so lively with chatter,
I knew in a moment it must be Snatchcracker.
More rapid than eagles the wankers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and call’d them by name:
“Now! Cumster, now! Desperate, now! Killer, and Did We?,
“On! Cuntput, on! Camo, on! Diddler and Money;
“To the top of the porch! to the end of the hall!
“Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”
As dry cups before the tap waited by,
Thirteen brought the keg, with a grunt and a sigh;
So loud as the speakers, the hashers they sang,
With the line full of beer – their rejoices they rang:
And then in a crash, I heard on the deck
I worried a harriete had broken her neck.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
In through the door Tosser came with a bound:
He was dress’d all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnish’d with ashes and soot;
A bundle of beer was flung on his back,
And he look’d like a hobo just opening his pack:
His eyes – how they twinkled! his dimples how merry,
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry;
His cute puffy lips were drawn up like they hurt,
And the beard of his chin was soaked just like Squirt;
One half of a can he held tight in his teeth,
And the beer stains encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a proud face, and a little round belly
That shook when he laugh’d, like a bowl full of jelly:
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old drunk,
And I laugh’d when I saw him in spite of that ‘clunk’;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head (wsh?)
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but I knew this brave man,
He had just won a game; of the ol’ Danger Can,
And laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, down the hallway he goes.
He sprung to his Uber, to his crew gave a whistle,
And away they all drove, like a responsible missile.
But I heard him exclaim, as their speed did increase:
“Hashy Holidays to all, may you all get a piece!”
Sorry about that: don’t give me booze, a computer, and spare time.
Trail will be A to A about 4.5 miles from the On After. Hared by the one and only Camo Tow and myself (Monoga).
Try to Uber or Carpool because you WILL NOT be sober enough to drive when this is over. We can work out transporting you from trail to our place.
On after will be at Boxxxy and Monoga’s place. While Tosser has done an absolutely amazing job of hosting Holiday, Tosserween, and HAH hash the last few years, we thought we would give him a little break (especially after what you fuckers did to that poor man’s property during Tosserween). If it sucks, well, you know where we’ll be next year.
Feel free to wear whatever holiday themed things you have. Pajamas, lingerie, costumes, nothing–we don’t judge. Dinner, tons of beer and booze, and midnight snacks included!
As in years past, there will be a white elephant gift exchange. If you would like to participate, please bring a wrapped gift worth around $20. If you want to spend more, that’s on you, but try not to be the asshole that goes super cheap. Booze and sex toys are always acceptable! And remember, no one can steal what you’ve already consumed after you open it!
SO how much for this amazing experience?
Trail only will be the extra low price of $5 (since it’s the holidays and we love you)
Party only will be $10 (OK let’s be honest this is really just because we have a ton of leftovers to pawn off on you)
Trail and Party will be $15 (I think that math works out)
Party Rego Capped at 50 as we have no idea how many this new place can hold yet!
Please Pay ahead of time after you rego as we’ve had some issues drunkenly collecting from people at the last few parties.
Also, we will pass out the 2019 Hash Awards that you will have voted on (hopefully).
Bring: Warm holiday themed hash gear, holiday after-party wear, hash cash, gift for the exchange, and a strong thirst and appetite.
Trail should be k9 friendly, but I wouldn’t recommend planning to keep them around for the party.
On-HO-HO-HO-On
Monogamistake
On After Address:
4960 Winston Drive
Indianaspolis, IN 46226
There is limited crash space available. Message me or Boxxxy to confirm.
Bookings
Bookings are closed for this event.