#799…To Hash Where We Dare Not Go…Wednesday, September 5, 2018
Landing a man on the moon. The invention of the automobile. The repeal of Prohibition. These are all monumental accomplishments in history, but they don’t hold a candle to what IndyScent hashers pulled off on Wednesday, September 5, 2018: completing a hash in the land of the unhashable, Carmel, without police shutting it down.
This history-making feat started at the Lions Club off of 1st Street, with hashers including Toe Dirt, 13” Cock Tower, Monogomistake, Cuntput, Salad Tosser, Ribbited For Her Pleasure, Did We Fuck?, Cacklez, Commie Blowjabi, Tongue The Bum, NEEEEERRRRRD, Show Me Your Dong, I’m The Piano Man, Dis-Whoriented, Flabong ME, Flasic, and virgins Just Tina and Just Jeff. Hashers came sporting their best “Carmelflage,” with many wearing golf shirts, but special recognition goes to Did We Fuck? for having the golf shirt-khaki pants combo and Commie for bringing his golf bag.
Haring this trail were BILF Nye The Anal Guy, who was making his virgin lay, and new trail master Nautical Pussy. The trail began by going down Main Street, but the pack was fooled by a back check. Hashers found true trail by the woods next to the high school, and descended down to some shiggy and then through some knee-deep water in Cool Creek (shiggy and water in Carmel, what?). After making their way to Smokey Row Road, hashers had their Get Out Of Jail Free cards handy when they spotted a police vehicle in an apartment complex they were about to go through (that same vehicle was there when the hares went by earlier). But it was a false alarm, and our pleas for the police to not interrupt us prior to trail came to fruition, and hashers continued on. They made their way to Rangeline Road, where a boob check was located next to a construction site. Unfortunately, there was no work going on at the time, and hashers made their way onto the Moan-on Trail, where a beer check was located at a trail intersection. But this wasn’t just any beer check, this was a beer check Carmel style, with snacks and caramels served on a silver platter. In order to make drinking more conspicuous, Solo cups were also available. Trail continued down the Moan-on trail and back onto Main Street, where there were several statues, but unfortunately not the one with a police officer making a spanking-like motion. I can only imagine what we would’ve done. There was however a lovely fountain that Cock Shower and others were very excited to play in while the Carmelites watched through the windows of some fancy 5 star restaurant.
After finishing up back at the Lions Club, hashers gathered up for circle, where they voted it was a S-H-I-T-T-Y trail. Feeling awfully ambitious, BILF filled his down-down cup with an entire beer. Seeing what BILF did, Nautical poured some of it out, but alert hashers made donations, and BILF downed it to chants of, “One of us!” Speaking of downing a lot of beer, Cock Tower forgot the hashit he was supposed to bring on trail, and downed a danger can for his hash crime.
The next IndyScent gathering will be Banned Camp this upcoming weekend. Registration closed on Friday, so there are 61 wanks who have probably never been this pumped to go “back to school”. Nautical announced that he will be haring the trail following Banned Camp with Piano Man, and it will be the third annual chiropractic hash with plenty of back checks.
On-after was at Union Brewing Company, which Nautical described as the “most un-Carmel place in Carmel” (pretty accurate assessment). Hashers made a fire in the fire pit and cooked hot dogs on hot dog sticks.
On-out
B.I.L.F. Nye the Anal Guy